(02) -ENGLISH BLOG!-

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Task: Writing a commentary

My stand on streaking is that it can be both acceptable and unacceptable, depending on where and how it is carried out.

Firstly, streaking is defined as "a non-sexual act". With this in mind, we can infer that it is unlikely for streaking to affect people as greatly compared to flashing and indecent exposure, as the intentions of sexual intimidation and humiliation are not present. While there is certainly an element of exhibitionism for the streakers, the act itself is likely to be done out of sheer fun, and should be taken in the right spirit by passers-by. In the case of the undergraduate streakers from the National University of Singapore, they had streaked to celebrate a victory, without harbouring any ill intentions. Furthermore, it was done in the wee hours of the morning, making it unlikely that many people would have witnessed it. Despite this, it was deemed unacceptable by the university and they were expelled from their hostel. At the very most, they should only have been made to do community service to make up for their misdemeanour.

However, there are instances where streaking is clearly unacceptable, such as when disturbance is caused to members of the public as a result. An example of an incident where this occurred would be the UCLA Indie Run in June 2006. During the run, a great deal of noise was produced, and a fountain was even damaged. In such cases, the relevant laws should be enforced, with punishments being carried out on the offenders.

To conclude, an act of streaking has to be carried out at the right time and place, coupled with the appropriate behaviour, in order for it to be viewed as acceptable.

3 Comments:

At April 4, 2009 at 9:02 AM , Blogger louist said...

1) The commentary needs to be longer, about 300-500 words in length. Please have it ready by the next lesson (Monday) - it will be used in class.

2) I think you can flesh this out more. For example, right now I don't see clearly when you think "the right time and place" for streaking might be.

 
At April 5, 2009 at 11:58 PM , Blogger Jae said...

Thesis statement: Streaking can be both acceptable and unacceptable, depending on how and where it is carried out.

blueprint: Not present

topic sentence #1: the act itself is likely to be done out of sheer fun, and should be taken in the right spirit by passers-by.

evidence:Yes, valid.

topic sentence #2: instances where streaking is clearly unacceptable, such as when disturbance is caused to members of the public as a result.

evidence: Yes, not all valid.e.g. fountain damage by? directly related?

 
At April 6, 2009 at 3:00 AM , Blogger Yao Yang said...

Thesis statement: My stand on streaking is that it can be both acceptable and unacceptable, depending on where and how it is carried out.
Blueprint: No
Topic sentence 1: Firstly, streaking is defined as "a non-sexual act".
Specific evidence: Not so specific (Valid)
“Despite this, it was deemed unacceptable by the university and they were expelled from their hostel.”
“it was done in the wee hours of the morning”
Topic sentence 2: However, there are instances where streaking is clearly unacceptable, such as when disturbance is caused to members of the public as a result.
(Not really a clear topic sentence)
Specific Evidence: An example of an incident where this occurred would be the UCLA Indie Run in June 2006. (Valid)
Grading: E-4, C-4, V-4, O-3, L-9

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home